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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Home
Gonna
Mark
Respect
Told
Running
Away
Mother
Kids
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
