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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Running
Away
Mother
Kids
Home
Gonna
Mark
Respect
Told
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
Rodney Dangerfield
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Rodney Dangerfield
I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
Rodney Dangerfield
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
Rodney Dangerfield
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have three kids, one of each.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
Rodney Dangerfield
