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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Away
Mother
Kids
Home
Gonna
Mark
Respect
Told
Running
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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I have three kids, one of each.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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