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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Told
Stand
Went
Kids
Coaster
Men
Coasters
Roller
Straight
Respect
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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