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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Respect
Friends
Keep
Kids
Ends
Remember
Runnin
Saws
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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