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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Friends
Keep
Kids
Ends
Remember
Runnin
Saws
Respect
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I don't get no respect
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
Rodney Dangerfield
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
Rodney Dangerfield
