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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Turned
Girls
Respect
Told
Girl
Belly
Dancer
Stomach
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Rodney Dangerfield
