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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Belly
Dancer
Stomach
Turned
Girls
Respect
Told
Girl
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
