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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Respect
Told
Girl
Belly
Dancer
Stomach
Turned
Girls
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
Rodney Dangerfield
