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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Girl
Beautiful
Adieu
Proper
Mets
English
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Rodney Dangerfield
