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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Sex
Life
Like
Rope
Pool
Shooting
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield
Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
Rodney Dangerfield
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
Rodney Dangerfield
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
