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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Rope
Pool
Shooting
Sex
Life
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More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
