Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Second
Told
Went
Wife
Opinion
Lousy
Bed
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
Rodney Dangerfield
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
Rodney Dangerfield
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
Rodney Dangerfield
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
Rodney Dangerfield
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have three kids, one of each.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
Rodney Dangerfield
