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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Little
Dropped
Wells
Dancer
Well
Christmas
Something
Fronts
Front
Poor
Lawn
Kids
Lawns
Littles
Presents
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
Rodney Dangerfield
