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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Littles
Presents
Little
Dropped
Wells
Dancer
Well
Christmas
Something
Fronts
Front
Poor
Lawn
Kids
Lawns
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield