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My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Made
Worse
Never
Childhood
Started
Story
Father
Greedy
Mother
Breakfast
Another
Awful
Stories
Brought
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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