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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Downer
Downers
Depressed
Figure
Figures
Whole
Life
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
Rodney Dangerfield
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
Rodney Dangerfield
