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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Track
Horse
Week
Agreed
Went
Gambling
Lasts
Shot
Last
Gun
Tell
Opening
Never
Shots
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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