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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Playing
Sprained
Ankle
Ankles
Fell
Idiot
Golf
Son
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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I don't get no respect
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
Rodney Dangerfield
I can't get no respect.
Rodney Dangerfield
