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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Come
Like
Teeth
Wife
Stars
Night
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
Rodney Dangerfield
One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
