Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Firsts
Everything
First
Thing
Married
Wife
Names
Mother
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
Rodney Dangerfield
A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
Rodney Dangerfield
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
Rodney Dangerfield
Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
Rodney Dangerfield
I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
Rodney Dangerfield
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
Rodney Dangerfield
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
Rodney Dangerfield
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
Rodney Dangerfield
