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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Beautiful
Piggy
Beholder
Ugliness
Liberating
Beauty
Eye
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
Rodney Dangerfield
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
Rodney Dangerfield
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
Rodney Dangerfield
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
Rodney Dangerfield
A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
Rodney Dangerfield
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
Rodney Dangerfield
You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look, twins!
Rodney Dangerfield
I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
Rodney Dangerfield
With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
