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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Pops
Tonight
Fronts
Front
Company
Talk
Family
Going
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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I don't get no respect
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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I have three kids, one of each.
Rodney Dangerfield
