Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Going
Pops
Tonight
Fronts
Front
Company
Talk
Family
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
Rodney Dangerfield
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
Rodney Dangerfield
Man, who don't like spaghetti?
Rodney Dangerfield
I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
Rodney Dangerfield
I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
Rodney Dangerfield
With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
