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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Tonight
Fronts
Front
Company
Talk
Family
Going
Pops
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
Rodney Dangerfield
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
