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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Family
Going
Pops
Tonight
Fronts
Front
Company
Talk

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
Rodney Dangerfield
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
Rodney Dangerfield
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
Rodney Dangerfield
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
Rodney Dangerfield