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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Bathroom
Ten
Took
Percent
Middle
Night
Home
Survey
Men
Surveys
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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