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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Home
Survey
Men
Surveys
Bathroom
Ten
Took
Percent
Middle
Night
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
