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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Right
Supporting
Fighter
Save
Tough
Wife
Tell
Buck
Mother
Fighters
Two
Bucks
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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A hooker once told me she had a headache.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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