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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Fighter
Save
Tough
Wife
Tell
Buck
Mother
Fighters
Two
Bucks
Right
Supporting
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
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I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
Rodney Dangerfield
