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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Youthful
Oldest
Teenager
Attitude
Lost
Never
World
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
Rodney Dangerfield
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
Rodney Dangerfield
When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Rodney Dangerfield
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !
Rodney Dangerfield
Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield
