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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
World
Youthful
Oldest
Teenager
Attitude
Lost
Never

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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I have three kids, one of each.
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
Rodney Dangerfield
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
Rodney Dangerfield
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I don't get no respect
Rodney Dangerfield