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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Never
World
Youthful
Oldest
Teenager
Attitude
Lost
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
Rodney Dangerfield
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
Rodney Dangerfield
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
