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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Help
Helping
Didn
Psychiatrist
Kids
Sent
Children
Childhood
Parents
Parent
Child
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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I don't get no respect
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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