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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
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Store
Stores
Short
Clothes
Bigs
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, Why are you jogging in your underwear? He says, You came home from work early.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
Rodney Dangerfield
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
Rodney Dangerfield
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
Rodney Dangerfield
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
Rodney Dangerfield
