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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Store
Stores
Short
Clothes
Bigs
Find
Like
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
Rodney Dangerfield
