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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Store
Stores
Short
Clothes
Bigs
Find
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More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
Rodney Dangerfield
Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
Rodney Dangerfield
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield