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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Alike
Cars
Car
Lying
Women
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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