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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Women
Alike
Cars
Car
Lying
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
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