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My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Needs
Occurs
Mind
Blow
Ears
Sex
Says
Wife
Girl
Need
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
Rodney Dangerfield
I have three kids, one of each.
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.
Rodney Dangerfield
I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
Rodney Dangerfield
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
