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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Went
Believe
Never
Nude
Men
Abraham
Like
Lincoln
Beach
Created
Equal
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Rodney Dangerfield
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
