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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Fight
Wife
Fighting
Night
Wells
Well
Really
Way
Sex
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
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