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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Night
Wells
Well
Really
Way
Sex
Fight
Wife
Fighting
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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