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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Black
Rainbow
Neighborhood
Poor
White
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
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I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
