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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Prove
Cases
Take
Nude
Something
Ruler
Always
Rulers
Beach
Case
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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