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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Respect
Eatin
Tell
Frills
Flights
Dishes
Cheap
Flight
Finished
Took
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
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At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.
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I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where'd you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck.
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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