Quote

I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Dishes
Cheap
Flight
Finished
Took
Respect
Eatin
Tell
Frills
Flights

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I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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I have three kids, one of each.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
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