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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Ass
Sex
Wrong
Pain
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
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I don't get no respect
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
