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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Ass
Sex
Wrong
Pain
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
Rodney Dangerfield
My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
Rodney Dangerfield
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
Rodney Dangerfield
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
Rodney Dangerfield
I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.
Rodney Dangerfield
Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
Rodney Dangerfield
