Quote

I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.

Rodney Dangerfield

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Figured
Twice
Sex
Year
Years
Bisexual

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Image
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield
Image
A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
Rodney Dangerfield