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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Year
Years
Bisexual
Figured
Twice
Sex
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
Rodney Dangerfield
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
