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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Lonely
Bottom

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
Rodney Dangerfield
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
Rodney Dangerfield
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
Rodney Dangerfield