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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Lonely
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More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).
Rodney Dangerfield
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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
Rodney Dangerfield
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
Rodney Dangerfield
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
Rodney Dangerfield
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield