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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Lonely
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More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Rodney Dangerfield
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Rodney Dangerfield
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
Rodney Dangerfield
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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
Rodney Dangerfield
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
Rodney Dangerfield
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People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
Rodney Dangerfield