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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Prevention
Suicide
Tried
Respect
Called
Talk
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
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My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!
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My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I don't get no respect
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He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
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I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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