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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Prevention
Suicide
Tried
Respect
Called
Talk
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
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I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
Rodney Dangerfield
My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
Rodney Dangerfield
