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Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Two
Corner
Wells
Corners
Well
Blind
Girls
Rodney
Yeah
Louise
Respect
Waited
Hours
Walked
Girl
Date
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me… Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I can't get no respect.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
Rodney Dangerfield
